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Suddenly I was in the real world. If I wanted a job, or wanted to keep my job, and the boss said I needed to be there at eight o'clock, then I would be there at eight o'clock, come hell or hangover. For many months, my body and I were at great odds with each other, to say the least.Still, it came as a much greater shock to my system when I arrived home one evening to find my answering machine blinking."Hey Buddy," came a voice from my past. Jason and I hadn't spoken in a few years. We still chatted via email occasionally, but his were short and impersonal, and mine few and far between, and we had mostly lost touch."Long time no see," he continued, in the cheery, overly-fake voice so common to answering machines. "I have big news for you, Eric. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but make sure you watch your mailbox. See ya!"I stood there, wondering what possible news he could have, but quickly put it out of my mind.So it was another surprise when I received the wedding invitation in. Once there he performed the most repulsive act in his life. He had actual sex with a real woman, naked, bare bodied, unprotected sex. The poor man came close to a nervous breakdown before his little wigglers finally fertilized Heidi's egg.It took six months before he finally succeeded and became an expectant father. Heidi reported she was knocked up and he thankfully swished away, as he sang with a lisp, "I'll wash that gal right out of my hair. Yeth!"Heidi smiled, collected her substantial reward and confided to a friend, "It was as close to having a lesbian experience as I ever had without actually having sex with a lesbian. God, but it felt kinky as hell."Rod Savage never did make another picture or another baby. He opened a gay bar in Santa Monica and retired from acting. He decorated the walls of "The Savage Place" with action pictures of him fighting bad guys and shooting Indians from horseback.Oddly enough, much to her joyous surprise Heidi discovered she liked being a mama.
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